Are You Drowning in Overwhelming Debt? Your NOT ALONE.
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Who  matters,                                    
Who never did,
Who won’t  anymore…
And who always will.
So, don’t worry about people from your past,
there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future

  I got these funnies in an email. I thought you might enjoy them. They did make me snicker. I hope they bring a smile to you as well.
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I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….

………………………………………..

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.  The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And that’s when the fight started….

……………………………………….

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from
outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy Crap.  That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’

And that’s when the fight started….

……………………………………….

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face
cream..

And that’s when the fight started
………………………………………….

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And that’s when the fight started….

………………………………………..
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started….

……………………………………….

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend.

I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ said my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?’

And that’s when the fight started….

………………………………………………………………

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my
SIN The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt.’ So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and
she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And that’s when the fight started….

………………………………………………………………
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station.

And that’s when the fight started….

………………………………………………………………
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.  I bought her a bathroom scale.

And that’s when the fight started….

…………………………………………………………………..
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift  I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

    Do you remember Abbott and Costello? William (Bud) Abbott and Lou Costello (born Louis Francis Cristillo) were an American comedy duo whose work in radio, film and television made them the most popular comedy team during the 1940s and 50s. Their most popular skit was “Who’s on First?” I have watched that skit many times and it was just as comical the 10th time that I saw it as it was the very first time.